Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
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