Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...