Best jokes ever

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? A: They need a map....
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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has 67.18 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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has 67.17 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 67.17 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
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has 67.17 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
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has 67.16 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: food
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, memory, old people
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Halloween
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