What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"
"Knock Knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Europe."
"Europe who?"
"No you're a poo."
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Vote:
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Two deer hunters met in the woods. The first one said to the other, "Boy am I glad to see you, I've been lost for hours." The second deer hunter said, "That's nothing, I've been lost for a week."
Vote:
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him.
Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case.
‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’
‘Why?’ asks the judge.
‘He won your acquittal.
Why do you want to have him arrested?’
Jerry replies, ‘I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so the bastard went and took the car I stole.’
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
The Cop
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine.
She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button.
Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient.
"Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.