Best jokes ever

I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money, new year, political, tax
A guy walks into an auto shop and says, "I'd like a gas cap for my KIA." The car mechanic thinks for a few seconds then says, "Ok, that seems like a fair trade."
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: car, mechanic
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Vote:
has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, weather
Girl: "Girls are better than boys." Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?" Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: men, women
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology
Your momma so fat... When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo Momma's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
<<<432433434435
More jokes →
Page 432 of 1427.