Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
What do you call a mexican having a shower? A miracle.
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
Yo mom a so fat she wore a Malcolm x shirt and a helicopter landed on her.