The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.