Best jokes ever

Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: math
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?  A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary? A: Because the river was too mainstream.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster, music
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
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