Yo Momma's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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Your momma so fat...
When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!
So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Why don't you hit a black kid on a bike?
Because it's probably YOUR bike.
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What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her feet.
Me: Staring contest. Go!
Me: O.O
Friend: -.-
Me: I win! You blinked! Haha
Friend: You bastard, I'm asian!
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered,
"Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"