Best jokes ever

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, weather
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: beauty, flirt, food, love
Yo Momma's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Your momma so fat... When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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has 67.09 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: sex
Me: Staring contest. Go! Me: O.O Friend: -.- Me: I win! You blinked! Haha Friend: You bastard, I'm asian!
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has 67.07 % from 370 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.
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has 67.06 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: sex
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
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has 67.03 % from 405 votes. More jokes about: political, sex
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