Best jokes ever

The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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Q: How does a blonde part her hair?  A: By doing the splits.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend's 25, Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend's 26, so if you're single its ok, maybe he's just not born yet.
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More jokes about: life