Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny.
Doc says, "Im gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow."
Doctor starts and woman begins to moan.
Doctor gets faster and harder.
Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?"
Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."
Shop assistant: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small.
Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on?
Psychic: I'm a medium.
Vote:
Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you."
"Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?"
Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!"
Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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Joke has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, old people, vulgar
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce.
The priest was surprised.
"Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about."
The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned."
"Ah"” said the priest, "a parable."
"In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!"
The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."