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Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?  A: Artificial intelligence.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Q: How does a blonde part her hair?  A: By doing the splits.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend's 25, Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend's 26, so if you're single its ok, maybe he's just not born yet.
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Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down. One says, “You know, I’m 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other guy says, “Oh, I feel like a newborn baby.” “Really,” says the first guy. “Yep,” says the second one. “No teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants.”
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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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