Best jokes ever

Your momma so fat... When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood. First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, "That's maple." They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly. He did this with every piece of wood they brought before him. The bartender then got an idea to trick him. And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose. He sniffed for a while. "Boy," he said "This is difficult. Flip that board over and let me smell the other side." So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose. He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, "You guys can't fool me! That's the shit house door from a tuna boat!"
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has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: math
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
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has 67.10 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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has 67.10 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.
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has 67.06 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: sex
As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays." He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"
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has 67.05 % from 233 votes. More jokes about: gay
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
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has 67.05 % from 269 votes. More jokes about: black people, desert island, food, mexican, racist
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
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has 67.04 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: asian, geography, god, work
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