Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Vote:
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
Vote:
A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter."
Responses:
American: "Keep trying!"
Briton: "Change Doctor!"
Aussie: "Follow a special diet."
Indian: "Practice yoga!"
Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
Yo mama is so fat, iPod converts into iPad, when she sits on it.