A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over.
He reminded them that they often tell the same stories.
"Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating.
The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.
The father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.”
The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water.
Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy asked what were they doing.
The dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, “Well, son, we are making you a little brother.”
The little boy replied ,”Please turn Mom over, Dad, I’d rather have a puppy!”
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.”
The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!”
The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra?
A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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