If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed
calls.
Vote:
I dig,
you dig,
we dig,
he digs,
she digs,
they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep...
Teacher: “Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence.
How many would be left?”
Boy: “None.”
Teacher: “None? You don’t know your arithmetic!”
Boy: “Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox."
"Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
Vote:
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Vote:
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"