Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.