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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
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More jokes about: god, time, women
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Chuck Norris can say never.
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