Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
Vote:
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Vote:
Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
Vote:
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention.
"If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?"
Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
Vote:
How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C."
Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
Vote:
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke."
Michael: "Get money from your job."
John: "I got fired."
Michael: "Why?"
John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside."
Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote:
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
Vote:
Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
Vote: