Best jokes ever

Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Your momma so fat... When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw your momma peanuts.
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
Vote: has 67.89 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, marriage, old people
Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, time, work
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, money, wine