Best jokes ever

Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work. I don't understand, Cindy complained. When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that? Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, Maybe it just saves time.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, work
Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there. He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does. When the man in front of him stands, so does the American man. When the man in front of him sits, so does the American man. At one point, the priest says something, and the man in front of him stood. So the American man stood too. Everyone in the church gasped, so the American man hurriedly sat back down. Later, the American man figured out that the priest was congratulating a birth. When he had asked who was the father, and both men stood up, it had caused some confusion!
Vote:
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, communication, dad, ethnic
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Vote:
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Vote:
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
Vote:
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
Vote:
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
Yo mama is so fat, iPod converts into iPad, when she sits on it.
Vote:
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Vote:
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
Vote:
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
<<<445446447448
More jokes →
Page 445 of 1428.