When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend's 25, Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend's 26, so if you're single its ok, maybe he's just not born yet.
Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down. One says, “You know, I’m 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other guy says, “Oh, I feel like a newborn baby.” “Really,” says the first guy. “Yep,” says the second one. “No teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants.”