There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. "Tom what’s going on?" Mark asked. "It’s my wife Beckie," Tom replied. "She ran off with my best friend!" "Hey wait a second!" Said Mark. "Aren’t I your best friend?" "Not any more," Tom said with a happy smile. "He is!"
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
Yo momma so poor when I walked through her front door I was already out the back door.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.