Best jokes ever

That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
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has 66.08 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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has 66.05 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What do you call a lesbian with eight girlfriends? A: An octopus.
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has 66.04 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: communication, lesbian, relationship
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.03 % from 308 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
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has 65.95 % from 1195 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: military, war
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
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