Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist?
A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
One day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they couldn’t trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama said, "I’ve got good news and bad news."
Bush replied, "What’s the good news?"
"I’m turning myself in," said Osama. "But the bad news is, I’m coming on a plane."
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
Vote:
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.
"Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago."
"Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?"
The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me."
Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Vote:
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...