Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!" "Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!"
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
My boss is like a diaper. He's always on my ass, and half of the time, full of shit.
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For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.