What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.