A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing.
"Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?"
"Not yet", she answered.
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip
I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year.
Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college.
So my parents sent me to dog training school.
I learned a lot when I was there.
Sit, stay, roll over.
I haven't quite got the fetching part down.
They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal.
As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help.
"Oh yes please!?" the man cries.
"You have a kind heart, sir," says the man with no arms.
But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things.
The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it.
So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so.
"Thank you very much, sir!" says the armless man.
"No problem," says Bob "but what the hell is wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says "I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she saw a "Wet Floor" sign and did what it said.
Mother, "Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you'll get kids who will be very naughty to you!"
Johnny, "Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, haven't you?"
Vote:
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.