Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.