Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."