Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it?
A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Vote:
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Damn, I burnt one."
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please.
The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions.
The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence.
The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have?
The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have?
The lady said potat.
Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have?
"But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
A: Well hung.
Did I tell you the joke about my dick?
Never mind its too long.
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.