A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze.
As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila.
So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin.
The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating?
The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job.
The bartender smiles and says I remember my first.
The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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How to speak Irish:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
Say them all quickly.
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There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Did I tell you the joke about my dick?
Never mind its too long.
Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t."
"But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies.
"But, I do."