What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans. One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven. Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost. A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?". "Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya. First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!". "Thank God!" Joe shouts... "What is the bad news?!". "You're pitching tomorrow."
Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.