What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom?
One you go in the other you come in!
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh.
At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!"
The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance.
"If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked.
Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten."
And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
Vote:
Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's fucking intents.
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’