Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.
Teaching an English lesson, the teacher wrote on the board, fully aware of the grammar errors: "I ain't had no fun in months" "Now, how should I correct this sentence." "Get a new boyfriend," said Little Johnny.
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle.
On a beach a man shouts at another man: Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son: Son, stop playing the fool.
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement" Me: "Thank you."