Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work. I don't understand, Cindy complained. When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that? Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, Maybe it just saves time.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!