Best jokes ever

Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
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More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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More jokes about: communication
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work. I don't understand, Cindy complained. When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that? Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, Maybe it just saves time.
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More jokes about: lawyer, work
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris