Best jokes ever

Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 67.93 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?" The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
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has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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has 67.90 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is a soup made with matzoh balls." On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it." Finally, he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup. "That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering... "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, jewish, redneck
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny. Doc says, "Im gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow." Doctor starts and woman begins to moan. Doctor gets faster and harder. Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?" Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
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