So this guy walks in to a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks dude where did you get that. And the parrot answers in Africa theres millions of them.
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Q: What do you call a white guy with 5 black friends? A: Coach!
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats? A total waste of space!
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"