Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor.
The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor.
This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.
Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.
Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra?
A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.