Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.