Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Yo mama is so old that when she breastfeeds it's just powder.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.