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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...  He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
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Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
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