Q: What did the nut say to the bolt?
A: Screw me.
Your families are extremely proud of you.
You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing.
This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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You so ugly, when Yo Momma drops you off at school, she gets a ticket for littering.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.
The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was.
Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!"
And fell back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world.
Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!"
And fell back to sleep.
Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child.
Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR.
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