Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
Vote:
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Ignorance can be educated.
Crazy can be medicated.
But there is no cure for stupidity...
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore.
The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back.
Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back.
The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
One that never misses a period.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Jim and Edna are both mental patients.
One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air.
Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.
Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..."
"Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"