A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there’s a knock on the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Yo momma's so fat...
When she wears her X jacket helicopters try to land.
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?'
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed."
Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Your families are extremely proud of you.
You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing.
This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Vote:
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America?
A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Vote: