Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift."
Doctor: "Tell her to come in."
Romi: "I cannot"
Doctor: "Why so?"
Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up.
The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!"
"I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
Q: What does the baker have under his apron?
A: Dough nuts.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she can make out with a toothpick in her mouth.
Yo momma so fat when she saw a bus she said come back Twinkie.
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
Guys, enough with the Asian jokes...they're all the same.
Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?
A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"