You so ugly, when Yo Momma drops you off at school, she gets a ticket for littering.
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.
She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world."
Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
An elderly couple went to dinner at the home of some friends, also elderly.
After dinner, the wives went into the kitchen and the two men were talking.
One said, “We went out to dinner last night at a really good restaurant. I’d highly recommend it.”
The second man said, “What’s the name of it?”
The first man thought and thought, then said, “What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love, the one that is usually red that has thorns?”
“Oh, you mean a rose?” said the second man.
“Yes, that’s it,” said the first man.
Then he called to the kitchen, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Vote:
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars.
One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray
travel expenses.
In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage.
Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.