Best jokes ever

Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fat, health, Yo mama
How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: women
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.47 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?" Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
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has 65.46 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
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has 65.46 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: fart, little Johnny, teacher
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
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has 65.45 % from 654 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, political, tax
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, food, work
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