Best jokes ever

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: school
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, food, work
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
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has 65.42 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: math
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
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has 65.41 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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has 65.40 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, health
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
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has 65.36 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: gay, lesbian
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