You so ugly, when Yo Momma drops you off at school, she gets a ticket for littering.
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.
She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face.
Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?"
Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea.
Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish."
Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world."
Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
Vote:
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.