A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
How can you know a lawyer is lying? When he moves his lips.
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!