Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split." Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."