Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection.
Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread.
So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread.
The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it."
Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
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Your mama so fat that when she had a lockdown in a gym she wasn't able to go through the window or the door.
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Q: Why does the Avon Lady walk funny?
A: Because of her "Lipstick".
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Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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