Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.
Q: Where's Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web.
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.