Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the second fan. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."