Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”
He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
“Well,” he snarled at the kid, “what do you want?”
“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself…?”
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Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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Joke has 64.39 % from 371 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
A man goes to see a wizard and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?"
The man replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse.
Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?"
"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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Me: Staring contest. Go!
Me: O.O
Friend: -.-
Me: I win! You blinked! Haha
Friend: You bastard, I'm asian!
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’
Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
Yo' Mama is so fat, local night clubs had to put up signs that read, "Maximum Occupancy: 240 or Yo' Mama."
How to speak Irish:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
Say them all quickly.
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