Best jokes ever

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: coding, elephant, geek, IT
Q: What do you call a lesbian with eight girlfriends? A: An octopus.
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has 64.69 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: communication, lesbian, relationship
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 64.69 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
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has 64.63 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: math
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
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has 64.63 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please. The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions. The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence. The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have? The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have? The lady said potat. Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have? "But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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has 64.59 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: bible, god, little Johnny, teacher
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
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has 64.59 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, stupid
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
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has 64.59 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
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