What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.