Best jokes ever

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, game, sport
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman. The man says "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. "We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. " "Right, Darlin." The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: couple, family, redneck, relationship, travel
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
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has 64.70 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.” He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door. “Well,” he snarled at the kid, “what do you want?” “I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself…?”
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has 64.70 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, internet
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
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has 64.67 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
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