Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
Always remember:
There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
Pawn Stars:
Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?"
Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
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