Best jokes ever

I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death