Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Vote:
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
Vote:
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home.
As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job.
The boss tells him, "Its people like you we want here. Here's a test. There's a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit."
The docker asks, "Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?"
He got the job.
Life is like a box of chocolates:
A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.