Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
Wet doesn't get Chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets wet.
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.