Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
What do you call 3 black guys sky diving? Air pollution.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.