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Chuck Norris can watch music.
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A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
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Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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