Chuck Norris can watch music.
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.