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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
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Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
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Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
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Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
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The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?" "Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
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