NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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What's a mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave.
When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a funiture store and slept on the floor.
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath".
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."