A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
Vote:
Only if they had more mosquito nets in Africa.
We would be able to save millions of mosquitos from dying horribly from HIV.
Vote:
Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Vote:
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
Vote:
How do you tell when time is reversing?
When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
Vote:
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Q: Why should you be more afraid of a white guy in jail than a black guy?
A: You know the white guy actually committed the crime.