The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
"My wife drives like thunder."
"So fast?"
"No, every minute she strikes a tree."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.