Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist? A: To get a root canal.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: They are easier to keep amused.