Best jokes ever

An English man, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says,”..yeah. That’s quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free.” Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer. The Irish man says “Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the back-room for a shag” The English says “WOW! Did that happen to you?” and the Irishman replies “No, but it happened to my sister.”
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
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More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, math, school
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote: has 67.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote: has 67.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
Yo momma's so fat... She's sits on coal and farts out a diamond.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Vote: has 67.83 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, racist
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
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More jokes about: dirty