Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris abducts aliens.

A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?  A: Humpme Dumpme.

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

Yo Momma's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.

What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.

What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!

Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

"Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!"