How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
Vote:
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? "
Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
A man comes home alone from work.
Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas."
He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok!
He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas.
The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!"
He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black!
He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus"
21 RED!
And then the voice goes "Damn!"
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote:
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers?
People were confused about which side to spit