Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!