Best jokes ever

Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, fitness
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy." "Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT
Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
One day a Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, and then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in. The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "Just go on and take me to jail..... there's no way in the world that I can pass that test.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.26 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
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