Q: What do you call a pot of angry water?
A: Boiling mad.
Vote:
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position.
I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy.
He agreed with me.
I got upset that he agreed.
I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Vote:
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers?
People were confused about which side to spit
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
Vote:
What is the perfect Father's Day gift?
Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Vote:
Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.