Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Your mom is so stupid she thought Nickelback was a refund.
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.” The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.” The blonde says, “Oh! I could use something like that! I’ll take it!” The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful! It’s a thermos and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!” The boss asks, “And what do you have in it?” The blonde replies, “Some coffee and a popsicle.”
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.