Best jokes ever

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: hospital, medical, memory, old people, wife
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman? 4 drinks.
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has 64.03 % from 473 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, lesbian, women
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
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has 64.03 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
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has 64.03 % from 613 votes. More jokes about: animal, marriage, wife
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"
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has 64.02 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 64.02 % from 604 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
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has 64.01 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, sex
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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has 64.00 % from 1149 votes. More jokes about: black people, holiday, Thanksgiving
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