Best jokes ever

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
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More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
When a White guy is... Scared- He gets even whiter. Cold- He turns Blue. Angry-He turns Red. Stoned- Gray duh. Sick- He turns Green. When a Black guy is... Scared- He stays Black. Cold- He stays Black. Angry- He stays Black. Stoned- He stays Black. Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.
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More jokes about: life, white people
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"
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More jokes about: school
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
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More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
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More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
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More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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More jokes about: women
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
What do you call a pool filled with Black People? Coco Puffs.
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More jokes about: black people, racist
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
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More jokes about: god, insulting, money, Yo mama