Best jokes ever

What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
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has 63.87 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: sex
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
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has 63.86 % from 552 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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has 63.83 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: catholic, disgusting, jewish, wife
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest. They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives. The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky. The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it. After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently. The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes. After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!" All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?" "Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two texts for her to send a selfie.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, technology, Yo mama
Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine." The doctor was very much pleased. He asked: "Did it really help you?" Patient: "It helped me wonderfully." Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?" Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, money
Yo' Mama is so nasty, simply bathing is part of her weight loss program.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
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