Best jokes ever

Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."

Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.

Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.

What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.

Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.