Two husbands were having a conversation,
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
There were three guys at a bar.
One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker.
The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.
So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. "
As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map....
A man goes to see a wizard and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?"
The man replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards".
I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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