How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
"My wife drives like thunder."
"So fast?"
"No, every minute she strikes a tree."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.