Best jokes ever

A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’

Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"

Knock Knock Who's there? Muffikin Muffikin who? Muffikin fingers are trapped in the door.

At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.

I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.

What's long and hard on a black guy? Third grade.

Q: How come so black people died during the war? A: Because when the captain yelled "Get down" they all got up and danced.

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.