Best jokes ever

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
Yo mom a so fat she wore a Malcolm x shirt and a helicopter landed on her.
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, food, stupid
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
Vote:
has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"
Vote:
has 64.70 % from 512 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Vote:
has 64.70 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: math
<<<502503504505
More jokes →
Page 502 of 1426.