Yo' Mama is so dirty, they won't even use her bath water for waterboarding.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.