Best jokes ever

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
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has 63.86 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, mean, technology
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, gym, life, time, work
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: god, men, work
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