A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet. The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second. An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.