Best jokes ever

Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison
Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You have got to be kitten me!
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kitty
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so fat she irons her pants on the driveway.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo mama so dumb she runs to the mailbox whenever her computer beeps: "you have a new mail".
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry? A: It went back four seconds.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, time
<<<521522523524
More jokes →
Page 521 of 1426.