I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind.
It's all coming back to me now.
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Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
Work emails are like the gym.
You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun.
You get bored of it within hours.
You only keep going to keep up your reputation.
The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry?
A: It went back four seconds.
When Chuck Norris makes a joke on this website, everyone starts to make bad jokes because they didn't want to anger Chuck Norris.
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During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders.
The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy.
Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman?
She is no bigger than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman.
"But, she's much better!"
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.
Q: What did dick say to rubber?
A: "Cover me I'm going in."
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