Best jokes ever

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ? A: Duck.
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: military
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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has 63.29 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist
What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale? White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"
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has 63.27 % from 4816 votes. More jokes about: black people
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. While drinking he notices on the back shelf, a giant glass jar full of dollar bills. He asks the bartender "what's with all the $"? The bartender replies, "it's a game customers play. They put $50 in the jar, and have to complete 3 tasks to win the bulk". The man says, shocked, "well what are the tasks? There must be thousands in that jar". The bartender responds "you must pay the $50 before given the tasks". The man refuses and claims that's stupid. But after a few beers, curiosity gets to him and he decides to pay the fee. The bartender explains "The three tasks are... you must first drink this entire bottle of tequila until it's empty. Next, outback is an angry, stray Rottweiler who has a horrible tooth which needs to be removed. And lastly, upstairs in the apartment is an old lady who's been widowed for 45 years and hasn't had an orgasm since. So you must also give her a wild time to extreme pleasure to win the reward". The man agrees and starts with a few sips of the spirit, takes a break then chugs the rest of the entire bottle! Already feeling wasted and dazed, he stumbles out of his stool, and towards the back exit. Once outside, the bartender and other customers can only listen to what is happening. After a few barks and growls, all of a sudden the dog lets out a loud whimper. In stumbles, the daring man, clothes shredded and blood spattered. The customer's mouths were hanging wide open. The bartender asks " oh my god, nobody's ever done that, is the dog going to be alright?!" "Ahhhh Don't worry about that damn dog" shouts the drunken man. "Just tell me where the old bitch is who needs that tooth pulled". Heard this from an old man, not sure where he got it from, or if it's on here already or not.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, dog, money, vulgar
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo' Mama is so skinny, she uses dental floss for toilet paper.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
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