The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.”
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out
a chicken sandwich.
He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny.
I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking,” said the secretary.
"This is my father!”
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
What do you call 3 black guys sky diving?
Air pollution.
Vote:
What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale?
White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"
Vote:
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart.
So everybody takes a big whiff.
Vote:
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
Vote:
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married."
As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?"
Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge."
Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried.
"Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!"
"Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married."
And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals."
Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge."
Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!"
"Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."