Best jokes ever

Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 395 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, little Johnny, priest
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Vote: has 65.68 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, racist
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Vote: has 65.68 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV? A: His brother behind him with the VCR.
Vote: has 65.60 % from 440 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
Vote: has 65.59 % from 369 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, sex
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, racist
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, drunk
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist