Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything? Chuck Norris.