Best jokes ever

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
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More jokes about: food, military
What do you call a bunch of white people in a elevator? A box of crakers.
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More jokes about: racist, white people
A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head. She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore. Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it. "Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads. "Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
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More jokes about: blonde
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
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More jokes about: political, sex
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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More jokes about: IT
Q: Why did the blonde girl stare at the orange juice box? A: The orange juice box says, "concentrate."
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More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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More jokes about: black humor
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
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More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship