"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane.
"It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable.
Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone!
He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed."
After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much.
"You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
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What does a man call true love?
An erection.
yo mama so fat, when she dive into the ocean, there is a tsunami warning out!
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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The economy got very bad in 2008.
I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
He opens the door then turns the handle.
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