Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Vote:
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Yo mama is so old that when she breastfeeds it's just powder.
Yo mamas so fat she fits on both sides of the bed.
POST Server image uploads in android are easy.
Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
A: footsteps