Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her zits don't want to be seen with her.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.