Yo' Mama is so nasty, it sounds like Velcro when she takes her panties off.
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
Vote:
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
Vote:
The economy got very bad in 2008.
I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Los Angeles Homeless...
Homeless people here are different.
You ever notice that?
Our homeless people are serious, man.
They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Vote:
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
