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Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
A: footsteps
A length of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says "get out, we don't serve ropes in here!"
The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together.
Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends.
He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
And the rope replied "no, I'm a frayed knot."
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
He opens the door then turns the handle.
Vote:
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!