Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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The economy got very bad in 2008.
I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
He opens the door then turns the handle.
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Paddy got a job as a road line-painter.
He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
"You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet."
Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.