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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
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Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?  She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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