A man walked into a curio store and was looking around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. The proprietor said, that will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it. The man said, 'Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story.' He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked -- the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, which he did -- and all the rats drowned. He returned to the store where he purchased the brass rat, and when he walked in, the proprietor said, 'Ah ha! You came back to pay the $1,000 for the story, right?' 'Nope,' replied the man, 'Just came back to see if you have any brass lawyers!'
A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. " The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.