Best jokes ever

The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Things not to Say to the Cop Who Pulls You Over 10. Your so-called "speed limits" mean nothing to me flatfoot. I live my life one quarter-mile at a time. 9. You again? I thought I lost you at that last red light. 8. Aren't you going to strip search me, big boy? 7. I am not the droid you're looking for. You don't need to see my papers. 6. Darn! My radar detector must be broken again. 5. You better hurry up with that ticket. Dunkin' Donuts closes in 15 minutes. 4. You're not going to search my trunk are you? 3. How about you watch my friend Ben Franklin while I get my registration? 2. Sorry I was speeding officer, but your daughter said she had to be home by eleven. 1. Hey Barney! How are things in Mayberry?
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?" "Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fish, food
A Grandmother was checking out her grand-daughters grasp of colours and tested her regularly. She would ask her and the grand-daughter would always get the colour right. One day as we were heading to the doctors she turned to her Grandma and said "Don’t you think it’s time you tried to figure some of these out for yourself?"
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her zits don't want to be seen with her.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
Yo momma’s so ugly, if you look up ‘ugly’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of her.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<527528529530
More jokes →
Page 527 of 1427.