Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.