Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance?
A: To snowballs.
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea, let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies.
"Get your own blanket."
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America?
A: Throw a cookie into the street.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
Vote:
Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys.
Then came Chuck Norris.
Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank.
The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
Vote:
There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man.
They asked Satan to let them call their family.
The American called and talked for 10 minutes.
He payed $1,000.
The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes.
He payed $2,000.
The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10.
The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local.