When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.