Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives.
2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have.
The first one says he'll have H2O.
The second one said he'll have H2O too.
The second one died.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.
The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?
A: Loss of memory.
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Overheard in a restaurant:
She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste."
He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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