Best jokes ever

An Irishman walks out of a bar.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know,some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear."
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has 63.26 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
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has 63.25 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: airplane, marriage, money, travel, wife
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
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has 63.23 % from 548 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, food
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
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