Best jokes ever

Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, sport
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger, prison
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: fat, game, Yo mama
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know,some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear."
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: marriage
<<<540541542543
More jokes →
Page 540 of 1427.