Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
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A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
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