Best jokes ever

Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"

Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.

God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.

Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.

2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have. The first one says he'll have H2O. The second one said he'll have H2O too. The second one died.

A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."

Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.

Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".