My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her.
"...........dishes."
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!”
The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.”
Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked.
Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.”
And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck.
Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!