Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, I asked if her face hurt because it was killing me.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Yo mamma is not on a diet, she's on a triet, anything you eating-shell try it.
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.