Best jokes ever

A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: soccer, sport
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, old people
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: history, sport
You mamma so fat that she has to use the ocean for a bathroom.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography, Thanksgiving
<<<543544545546
More jokes →
Page 543 of 1427.