Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
How much white out does Chuck Norris use?
Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men.
One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones?
The punchlines are too long.
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?"
Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine."
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this."
Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.