Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
Yo momma is so fat she made chocolate frogs go extinct.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in.
"Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly.
Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.
"Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely.
"Naw!" said the redneck.
"He was too fast.
But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"
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