An investment advisor decided to go out on her own.
She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.
The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."
She leaned forward.
"Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect.
"Let me tell you something about honest.
Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impresive.
And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment advisor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in.
"Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly.
Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.
"Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely.
"Naw!" said the redneck.
"He was too fast.
But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"
Vote:
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.